It is ok!

 Today's world is filled with extremely high expectations that sometimes are almost impossible to fulfill. We have traveled from generation to generation with the attitude of being content to an attitude of wanting more and more. Instead of being content with what we have, we are disgraceful and start asking God for more, converting "real wants" into "masqueraded needs". God knows everything. He knows what we want. He knows what we need. We "need" food, clothing and shelter. We "want" bigger houses, faster cars; we want to go out to expensive restaurants all the time and we want anything and everything that would satisfy our unsatisfied hearts.

But, what happens when our wants and needs have to do with our own health? Do we continue demanding from God what we want or do we graciously ask Him to provide what  we really need? I'm certain He knows what we need and that's when everything gets complicated. Is it possible that I "need" this terrible disease that He allowed me to have? Is it possible that He doesn't want me to have a better job? Is it possible that He doesn't want me to accomplish my own personal dreams? Fortunately for us, it is possible. You see, God looks at the big picture. He looks at that picture at a much greater scale than we're used to. The prophet Isaiah writes: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts" (55:8-9). We will never fully comprehend the mind of God on this side of heaven. That's why He's God and we're not. I know it is hard to think and to feel that God has abandoned us but, in reality, He's always in control even when we cannot perceive it. God sometimes has to send or allow situations in our lives that, in the long run, will be a benefit to us and to His kingdom. I remember the story of Joni Eareckson Tada. She became a paraplegic at a very young age and, of course, she was always asking Him to heal her, to relieve her from her pain. But, years laters, as she was reminiscing on all her suffering years, she came to the conclusion that God never answered that prayer because He had a purpose. His purpose on her life was to build a ministry where she would help, counsel and love people with the same or similar physical limitations that she had. In God's economy, pain and suffering are never wasted and Joni is an excellent example of that. She exemplified what Paul said in Romans 5: "...but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (3-5). She persevered with God's grace despite her terrible circumstances, and God gave her a beautiful ministry that glorified His name and blessed millions of people in need. That's what God does. He uses broken people to bless the broken. What a God!

Today, I started complaining about the way I feel when my medications are wearing off, or at least that's what I think it is. But, in the midst of my difficulty, a small still voice whispered in my ear (not audibly): "It is ok". God spoke to my heart and told me: "Juan, it is ok to feel anxiety. It is ok to feel that your arm and hand are getting stiff. It is ok to feel confused because you don't truly know what's causing your symptoms. It is ok. You know why? It is because I am with you. I am Your healer, I am Your Great Physician, I am Your Lord and Savior." I know it might sound simplistic but, the truth is God doesn't promise you're going to feel perfect all the time. He does promise He will walk with us in the midst of our difficulty because: " In the midst of our anxiety His consolation brings us joy" (Psalm 94:19)

Our expectations about our own health sometimes get to be too high. As matter of fact, it can even provoke greater anxiety because we're not getting the results we want. We can definitely pray for God to heal us from whatever disease we are suffering from. We can do everything we can to try to improve our situation. We can even prostrate and fervently pray to the Lord like David did when he asked Him to save his son that resulted from the adulterous relationship he had with Bathsheba. David asked for his son to live but God allowed him to die because of David's own sin. Like in this instance, we can pray as hard as we want, but it's ultimately God's decision. And, sometimes His decision is not what we want. Sometimes His decision could be to keep us in a terrible disease but, at the same time, He also gives us the necessary grace to walk with that disease and still glorify Him and His kingdom. Despite all of that, it is ok to feel the way you feel. When I'm being too hard on myself because of my disease, I've been told: "Give yourself some grace" and that is right! God has already given you the grace you need. Why don't you take it easy and give yourself some grace as well. Never forget that small still Voice that whispers: "It's ok. I am with you!". It is ok my friends. Stop beating yourselves up for something you cannot control and allow God to soothe your soul, to give you peace and to show you His love. May you have an awesome day today! Be blessed!