How to grieve well

 Recently, on the 245th anniversary (2021)of the United States of America's Independence, my mother made her transition into eternity. It was really hard seeing her one last time and closing her eyes moments after she had passed. I felt like an orphan knowing that both of my parents were no longer on this earth. My father had passed away three years ago. If you have parents that are no longer with you, you know the feeling. But then, I look at Jesus and say: "Lord, what now?" And He gently says: "you're going to grieve well". How do you grieve well? I believe, first of all, we need to trust that He can give us the strength to go through the Valley of death, because then, and only then, can we endure so much pain in our soul. " He is the stronghold of His people" and how soothing and comforting it is that the Lord of the universe can hold you in his arms and whisper: "I'm here with you son, I'm walking this path with you, I'm holding your hand and you'll get through this with my help, trust me!". Through this whole process, in my mom's final days, I felt like God was giving me the neccesary strength every step of the way. I felt He gave me the strength to be there for my mom; I felt He gave me the strength to be there for my sisters, and I felt He gave me the strength to be the man I never thought I could be: a man with unfailing faith, unbreakable confidence, strong determination and loving leadership . It would have never crossed my mind to become this kind of person, given the history of my health. But, I have an awesome God who is bigger than my circumstances. He is my strong tower.

Don't get me wrong, I have grieved my mom, I have cried many times and I have wished things would have been different. I have wished she could have lived much longer, long enough to see my children's children but God had other plans. It's not about not grieving, it's about grieving well.

The second thing we must do to grieve well is to wholeheartedly commit to the great sovereignty of God. What do I mean by that? I mean that we must understand that God is in control and nothing escapes His will. The Bible says in the very solemn King James version: " He giveth and taketh away". He gave me my mom and He took her away. Why? I don't know, but we must submit to the fact that He knows what He's doing and we don't. When we understand that He is sovereign, all of a sudden, our grief tends to be a little easier. We're placing the burden of our grief into the loving hands of our Lord and that makes it better, more manageable, more bearable. He doesn't make it disappear but He makes it better! Grief is a process and sometimes is a very slow one.  We all also grieve very differently and that makes it harder to understand each other's way of grieving. Let's not be so critical when somebody grieves differently than us, because, at the end of the day, we all have been made differently and we all are unique. What we need to do is choose to grieve with God primarily and then others that can truly help us along the way. Who can be better to grieve with than the God of all comfort? Who can be more peace-giving than the Prince of Peace? Listen to me, we are going to lose loved ones at some point but we don't need to go through it alone. As a matter of fact, we are never alone. We have the audience of One and that's God. He's always present. I'm going to miss my mom with all my heart. As matter of fact, I woke up this morning saying: "I miss you mom". But, I understand that I have on my side the most important person of my life and His name is Jesus. Do you want to grief well? Grief with Him. Nothing can remotely compare to this kind of experience.  I'm living it and it's overwhelmingly soothing because I know, I truly know, He is with me in the midst of my grief. My God shall never forsake me. He promised that! He is also a "Man of sorrows and aquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3b). Aquainted with what? You heard it, grief. He knew grief better than anybody else and that's why he can relate to us. He is capable to walk with us in our grief. Not only because He is God but because He also experienced it. The author of Hebrews goes a little further when he says: "For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrew 4:15). Now, can you see that we have a sympathetic Savior who went through similar experiences as we go through? Jesus experienced grief when He saw people stricken with pain because of Lazarus death: "Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, "Where have you laid him” They said to Him, "Lord, come and see." "Jesus wept". (John 11:33‭-‬35 NKJV). Don't you think that having a Savior who is aquainted with grief can ease your grief journey? Of course it can! That's why we can grieve well. We do it on His strength, not ours. It's possible to grieve well, ask God to give you His strength, submit wholeheartedly to His sovereignty and know that He's a man of sorrows and aquainted with grief. That's an awesome Savior. What else do you need?