God gives grace! (Parkinson's Part 3)

 The name John, in the Hebrew is a word that is comprised of two syllables; the word "yah" that means Yaweh and the word "hanan" that means gracious. In other words, the name John means Jehova is gracious or God is gracious. The name John in Spanish is Juan which happens to be my name. Isn't it interesting that you've been given a name that pretty much has characterized your whole life without you even noticing it until now?

I've been dealing with Parkinson's disease for almost three years now and even though I've been under the care of great doctors, and taking care of myself the best I can, you can't escape the fact that it  is a degenerative disease and it can cause havoc as it advances. Unfortunately, my Parkinson has progressed. I'm at a point where my meds need to be increased to find once again a happy level that can be tolerated.

You wonder: How do you know it has progressed? Well, thankfully, for me, it's not a matter of shaking all over the place but a matter of high level anxiety that occurs most of the time in my off periods (the times the medication is not working). The level of medications I was once taking is no longer effective and therefore a new dose of my meds is required. I'm still in the process of finding that new level.

When I'm in those extreme anxiety moments, my whole being goes thru a series of symptoms that are scary enough to make you think you have something else going on but it's not; it's the Parkinson, a phrase my neurologist likes to use whenever I come up with a new symptom harassing my body or better yet, my brain. Due to these anxieties, fear overtakes me whenever I have a commitment that requires my full attention because I always wonder if my medications are going to be working in time for me to adequately perform the task I have at hand. It's not easy but God gives me a special grace everytime I have to do something important specially for His Kingdom. His love never fails and every time He offers me a special grace, it brings me to tears. The apostle Peter reminds us that, in serving one another, we should be good stewards of the "manifold grace of God" (1 Peter 4:10). The word "manifold" in the Greek means: "various, of different colors, diverse". This is the same word Peter uses in 1 Peter 1:6 when referring to the various trials we must go through, if necessary, to prove our faith (1 Peter 1:7). Doesn't the grace of God look different in every type of situation? Isn't God aware of what you need at certain times in your life? One author puts it this way: "there is a shade of grace to cover every shade of grief".

God gives me grace to go on. He told Paul: " my grace is sufficient to you" when he asked for the "thorn in the flesh" to be taken away from him. What did Paul do? Did he quit? No, he didn't. He continued in his journey to build the kingdom of God in spite of his thorn. He understood his mission wasn't dependent on his strength, it was on God's through His grace. Sometimes God doesn't take away our burdens. Most of the time, God works through us despite our burdens or limitations. God is not limited by our incapabilities. Sometimes we limit him because of our incapabilities. I choose to go into battle with my God every time my anxieties want to limit me on doing my work for Him. I cannot say He never shows up because every time, He does. A  shade of his grace is painted over my shade of grief and He revives me, refreshes me and encourages me to continue on His path because He'll never forsake me. It's like a new level of trust towards Him is born every time his specific shade of grace overwhelms my very specific shade of grief. He's awesome, He's amazing, He's powerful. He's the God of all grace!